He had a receipt that was longer than than ten elephant trunks tied together. He said he was Swedish and didn’t speak English well. You’d think this would go over big at IKEA but the guy at the pick up furniture department only spoke English and the manager who was summoned was more comfortable speaking in his native tongue which was Spanish.
“I was here yesterday. I buy all dees stuff but I never get dees one.”
He pointed to a single item number on the receipt. It was a high gloss black chest of drawers. $349.
The manager looked at the supposed Swede distrustfully. His legs were chunky and pale protruding from his longer length brushed denim shorts, black with gold thread detailing. His hair was blonde but short and recently styled. His work boots didn’t look worn much, didn’t look like he’d worked in them a whole lot. His red t-shirt was newer, with bold graphic design that might’ve been a bird or airplane. It was kind of abstract.
Maybe he did this all the time. Bought in large quantities then went back and claimed he didn’t get one of the most expensive items.
“We don’t have a record of this not being picked up.”
“But I never get it,” the Swede said. “There has to be a record of that.”
After all, this was IKEA. The place reeked of organization.
The manager frowned. The man had spent thousands of dollars. It would not be good to piss off one of IKEA’s best customers. On the other hand, he was supposedly Swedish. Maybe he was an owner or something. Maybe he was testing them, to see if they’d let people get away with stealing stuff.
I was just waiting for one item. It didn’t take long so I never found out how it ended. What do you think?
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